Travels with Grumpus

Damn fine movie

Mickey: If I was a superhero, I’d be Resento.

Maya: Or Fussboy.

Mickey: Yeah, he can be my sidekick!

Maya: Or, you could be a schizophrenic superhero, and be either one depending on your mood. Or both at the same time, even.

Mickey: Ok, I’ve thought about your flying superpower. I do think it would be pretty useful.

Maya: See? Toldja.

Mickey: Now to make the power more interesting, let’s change it a little.

Maya: Go…

Mickey: What if you could fly really fast, like 200 mph, at a really low level, say at knee level? And the higher you got, the slower you’d go. You could zoom around at say 100 mph at around 6 feet high, cruise around at maybe 40 mph at 30 or 40 feet. Maybe 4 to 5 mph when you got up to 200 feet.

Maya: That’s interesting. So you can zoom upwards really quickly to slow down, and fly down to speed up. Would you control your direction with your arms and legs, as if you were swimming?

Mickey: Maybe…

Maya: But wouldn’t your neck get really tired if you kept your head up — I mean you’d need to so you wouldn’t bump into people when you’re flying around at knee- or waist-level.

Mickey: No, you’d be flying standing up!

Maya: You mean like you’re levitating?

Mickey: Yeah, otherwise it’s just stupid!

Maya: I thought that was the point.

Walking through IFC Mall on yet another Saturday-afternoon window-shopping expedition:

Maya: Man, I hate these huge malls. I feel like I’m walking on a treadmill. I wish I could fly.

Mickey: Right on schedule. Your “I wish I could fly” speech usually kicks in about an hour into our little strolls.

Maya: No seriously, I wouldn’t mind being able to fly even if I was just bobbing around at waist-level at the speed of a brisk walk. Or maybe floating a little higher up, then you could tie a string onto me and sort of pull or nudge me around.

Mickey: That’s pretty dumb.

Maya: But think how useful it would be. I mean we already walk everywhere. Think of it as a superpower for city-dwellers. Most of the places we go to are in a very small area anyway, so if we could fly as fast as a guy on a bike or a slow car, we could get around much more easily.