This week in the news
Apart from reminding me to get out of bed and shower, Grumpus also keeps me in touch with the outside world by sending me links to all the news that’s fit to know.
This week for instance I found out that Bolivia is even more screwed than our beloved country. Their new government is trying to incorporate Aymara Indian mysticism into its policymaking. In concept, the Aymara say they can “be without being” or be present physically and someplace else spiritually, and believe they can re-create a mythical pre-conquista Eden without poverty or oppression. This all sounds well and good, but when you really think about it, that “be without being” trick is practiced daily by good folk of all cultures; in English we call it “spacing out”. And while it’s a neat trick, it’s not quite the way to Eden.
In practice, the Amarya have advocated that coca (from which cocaine is derived), being rich in calcium, be substituted for milk in the nation’s schools (the foreign minister). They also prefer to “read the wrinkles of our grandfathers’ brows … to recover their wisom” rather than read books and “cloud their minds with European concepts” (again, the foreign minister). They also believe that family planning was a failed elitist conspiracy to keep the indigenous population down and that the government should “use procreation to reverse the pernicious effects of colonization” (the education minister).
It’s funny but in a tragic way, sort of like our own farmers with anting anting and bolos charging the police and then being gunned down.
In other news, I found out that Britons eat 19.4 pounds of chocolate per capita, a fact which, in addition to the superfantastic TV series Foyle’s War and Jeeves and Wooster, should be enough to impel anybody to move to Britain. The danger of messing with a good thing though was underscored in the recent KitKat debacle. KitKat Chunky was pure genius. KitKat strawberries and cream, passion fruit and mango, red berry and tiramisu? Meh. Bleh. Get me my Chunky and be done with it.
We also learn that China has jumped into the denim fray. I don’t know … I’m pretty sure people wouldn’t buy a $2000 Armani suit made in China. $200 jeans using Chinese denim? Eh. Again, I think not.
And in case you were wondering what makes for a good rock hotel, here’s a brief guide. 24 hour room service and hotel bar? Check. Cool location? Check. A parking garage that can fit tour buses? Check. High speed internet and a workout room? Huh?
And finally, if, like Grumpus, the only thing stopping you from eating hotdogs every meal is their complete unhealthiness, well here is a little ray of hope. The politically correct hotdog.