Travels with Grumpus

Maya: So what do you want to say about this shirt?

Mickey: I dunno. What do you want to say about it?

Maya: What’s it supposed to be anyway?

Mickey: I dunno. You figure it out.

Maya’s internal monologue: Let’s see. It’s an apple. And obviously Adam and Eve. So that’s an Eden scene. “Naturally sweet” refers to the apple, which is maybe its natural advertisement, a natural come-on, which is what made those poor fools reach for it in the first place … that and the snake of course … an advert from the beginning of time. Ah, so that’s why it’s got “Big Bang” stamped across it, maybe it’s supposed to be some ironic series about scenes from the beginning of time. But wait … maybe it’s supposed to be an advert for the apple … an ironic advert … with Adam and Eve as the celebrity endorsers. Hence the “packed by …” I’m so confused.

Mickey: Your lips are moving but there’s no sound coming out.

The Six Flags Chairman and Washington Redskins owner will put up about $3m a year to cover Tom Cruise’s office and staff costs. While this is a far cry from the $10m Tom and co. used to get from Paramount, he lives to fight another day and the world is a better place for it.
And just so we don’t confuse this money with the other money coming to Tom, this is NOT, I repeat, NOT part of the $100m his handlers claimed was forthcoming from unnamed hedge funds.

In related news, the Times talks about Superstar Economics and remarks that in fact,

only seven actors and actresses — Tom Hanks, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sandra Bullock, Jodie Foster, Jim Carrey, Barbra Streisand and Robin Williams — had a positive impact on the box office, mostly in the first few weeks of a film’s release. In the same study, two directors, Steven Spielberg and Oliver Stone also pushed up a movie’s revenue. But Winona Ryder, Sharon Stone and Val Kilmer were associated with a smaller box-office revenue. No other star had any statistically significant impact at all.

And because my geekhood knows no bounds, here’s a site where you can trade “stocks” for individual movies.  Because hundreds of thousands of people do, it’s a fairly good predictor of a movie’s box office performance.

Mickey didn’t think it would ever happen, but now that it actually has, he’s overjoyed.

Background video here.

Fastest man alive.

Snakes on a Plane looks to be fading fast, sorry Mickey. We tried to catch it this weekend but couldn’t be bothered to take the train to Langham Place where show times were numerous, or stay out til 8 pm Sunday night so we could catch it in Causeway Bay. After all, Samuel L. Jackson never personally threatened us.

On the bright side, Little Miss Sunshine is doing spectacularly well in wider release. This is my must-see movie of the summer. It’s got Bo from Signs (”I can’t drink that water. It’s contaminated”) a little bigger and now speaking in complete sentences. And also a yellow VW Combi, a dysfunctional family, and a road trip. Should be good.

Mickey bought this t-shirt in late June just after we got back from vacation. If features an angry foreshortened cop holding a large “Keep of the Grass” sign.  He says he likes it because it’s funny.

This shirt is also from Z-brand.

Conversation over beer and sausages

Maya: Ah. This beer is fantastic. I’m happy.

Mickey: I’m glad to hear that. Because next to my happiness, your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me.

Maya: That’s funny!

Mickey: I hate to say it, but it’s true.

Mickey has been on a t-shirt buying jag for the better part of a year.

These aren’t the t-shirts of our youth - those clever slogan/ pop star of the moment hundred peso t-shirts that you wore because you couldn’t afford anything else. These are 100% cotton, soft to the touch, pre-distressed t-shirts cut slim and featuring some impenetrable but undeniably cool graphic design.

I’d like to think he wears them because although he’s all growed up and holding down a real job, he hasn’t lost his sense of irony or sense of humor.

Today’s t-shirt is from Z-Brand.

link

another link 

Thanks, Defamer.

Poor Tom. First his studio fires him. Now we hear that those “alternative sources of funding” might not be as readily available as his people claim.

Here’s some fun stuff from the strange marriage of hedge funds and the entertainment industry:

During an internal presentation on film financing last year, Merrill Lynch & Co. executives entertained employees with the famous video of actor Tom Cruise manically bouncing on Oprah Winfrey’s couch as he sang the praises of his new girlfriend.

Amid the laughter, recalls someone who was in the room, Michael Blum, Merrill’s head of structured finance, asked: “How does one hedge that risk?”

“If they thought Sumner was a tough boss, wait till they see what they have to put up with to get $100 million out of a fund,” says Hal Vogel, an entertainment industry analyst who runs Vogel Capital Management.

For ongoing coverage of the Cruise-Sumner saga, here’s a handy Defamer link.

Lest you think otherwise, no, I have nothing against Tom Cruise, except that I think he’s insane. This is just a pretty spectacular flameout.