You gotta stick with what you know
Among the many professions practiced by people I know and love is cardio-thoracic surgery. My brother the model grew quite nicely into his brains, and is doing a fellowship in that field at this august institution. Sometimes I even manage to talk to him about it.
As it turns out he had a pretty rough Christmas Eve. “I was on alternate call, but really looking forward to driving over to New York for Christmas dinner,” he said. “I mean, what the hell could go wrong on Christmas Eve?” Plenty, as it turns out. “Suddenly I get this call that this young girl had OD’d in Pennsylvania, and she was an organ donor. It was a really sad story - she was only 22, and it was the first time she’d ever done hard drugs. Since I was the most senior guy around, they sent me and this other guy out there to harvest her heart.”
“How did you guys get there?” I asked. Not the best question, I know, but it drove the story forward.
“It was actually pretty cool. We jumped into a van, then we were whisked to a private hangar in the airport. We took a private plane to Pennsylvania. Then when we got to the hospital, there were 3 other teams of harvesters, but since we were taking the heart, we went first.”
I’m skipping the gruesome details.
“When we were done, we put the organ into this cooler with a swinging top.”
“You mean like those Coleman lunchboxes?” Again, not the smartest question.
“Yep, only slightly bigger. The we got back on the plane and went back home.”
“Wow, just like on TV.”
“Yeah. Then I drove to New York for dinner.”
Yeah.
“So how was *your* Christmas,” he asked.
“Well the usual. Lots of eating, lots of visiting. Stress, fun, etc. Oh wait! I remember I did something new this year! Did you see that Deadwood Christmas card I posted?”
“Yeah, the one with the cussing?”
“Yup, that same one. Well. That was my own brilliant creation. I learned how to use Photoshop and made it over a couple of hours one night. Pretty darn snazzy for a first attempt, if I do say so myself.”
“Yeah, that was pretty funny.”
“Wait a minute. There you are harvesting organs and saving someone’s life, and here I am, proud of the product of my deranged imagination. There’s something not quite right there.”
“Well you gotta stick with what you know.”
Actually, that last line was Mickey’s, when I told him this story, but it’s a good punchline for the conversation.